#spent like 100000 hours on post editing

[titlenotyetavailable]

blowjob brothers

[rtgamebutsheep]

Tier list or rate the lads aus you know of, I’m curious what people think of them

Oh god- there’s so many-

Spooky!Lads: 1000000/10 I absolutely love all the Lads’ species and powers, and the fanfiction for this AU is absolutely amazing This was the first AU I got into and it’s AMAZING

Fusion!Lads: 1000000/10 Keviel and Seániel have all the love in my heart and I would do anything for them

RT.exe: 100000/10 THE LORE FOR THIS AU, I SWEAR Absolutely adore it

Crime!Lads: 10/10 All the characterizations are perfect, and I love the fact that half of them are the very villains they’re trying to catch

Subnautica!Lads: 100000/10 I don’t know if this counts as an AU, but I absolutely LOVE the fanfic series for it

(how many times have I said absolutely??)

Phasmo!Lads: 10/10 Not a lot has come out of this AU yet, but I still really like the concept and wish they’d post again

Western!Lads: 100000000/10 FIVE ROUNDS SIX CYLINDERS IS THE BEST PIECE IF LITERATURE TO EVER EXIST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

That one Christmas Carol AU: 10/10 I’m Jewish, so I don’t know shit about Christmas Carol (it has, like, three ghosts, and then that one guy from Ducktales??), but I still love it and can’t wait to see more

All the other Irish Lads AUs that I’m forgetting: 1000000000/10 This fandom is so incredibly talented, and all of your AUs are absolutely amazing <3

Edit: I FORGOT THE SPLATOON AU HOW COULD I FORGET THE SPLATOON AU

Splat!Lads: 10000000/10 Their DESIGNS… Do I need to say more? Absolutely lovely, and I NEED MORE OF IT

Edit #2: I FORGOT ELDRITCH DAN, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT AU AND EVERY DAY I WAIT WITH BATED BREATH FOR THE NEXT PART

Eldritch!Dan: 100000/10: I love everything about it, the designs are so good and the writing is just ✨✨✨✨✨

Edit #3: I just spent a couple hours reading through the refecktion lads AU, and OH MY GOD IT’S SO GOOD

Refecktion!Lads: 100000/10 The fact I haven’t seen this one before is a CRIME

[decembermoonskz]

the choreo in scars mv is soooo beautiful huhu and their outfits my gosh, majority of the vid is just them wearing crop tops 😭 aNd chan wore a waist chain again??? i have to rewatch the mv and find it later 😩

AND SEUNGMINS FLOOR PART (??) fLoOr dANCE (??) uGh i cant even put it into words 😩 jisung with a bucket hat and wearing a crop top jacket pLUSSS THAT CHOREO is just 😌 👌 biaz wreker tingz ✨

THE PHOTOSHOOT. THEIR PHOTOSHOOT 😭 they look so perfect , i cant-

if you want a group who can sing dance rap host model -> ✨ skz ✨ multitalented af 😤🤩

its been abt 3 hrs but i still cant get over scars :”> the premiere had been sitting on my laptop for more than 12 hrs before it was released just bc i cant wait huhu i mean even the photoshoot wtf i cant get it out of my head HAHDHAHDAUXHWJSHQHSHA 😭

OTHER THAN SKZ RELATED FANGIRLING 💀 did anything interesting happen to you? how was your day?? its half to 12 am here and ive been studying since 6 am 😭 i did have short breaks but i usually take a 4-5 hour nap in between those hours after school but i wasnt able to since i ve been in group project calls immediately after class huhu

6-1:30 iz le school

1:45-5:30 iz grp proj for our health subj

7-10:30 math grp call 💀 but seeing the photoshoot and mv recharged me hEhez

i hope you had a nice day! or yesterday? depends what time it is there lmao anyways feel free to share the things you did :3 i already started daffodil and i like it so far ! i think i stopped at ch 5 since i. need. sleep. badly. XD minho does deserve better lmao obviously chan is endgame but is he really 🤔 if he really is, then minho does 100000% deserve better huhu, cant wait to continue reading it tomorrow night!

- 🤡

Yeah I love everything about scars! I love how with all in its was more of a bop and a groove song to dance to. This is more emotional and I can still groove to it 😂😂 but in all seriousness I have nothing but good things to say abt it it’s great! and yeah I didn’t see it the first time either but waist chain made another comeback ✋🏼😔 it’s around Jisung’s part after Seungmin if you slow it down LOL (Jisung is really out here owning scars era 😔👌🏼)

Oof that photo shoot is officially one of my favorites 😩😩 I’m still not over the elle shoot with Chan, Hyunjin, Jisung and Felix, and Chan’s shots for men’s folio 😭

OMG SO MUCH SCHOOL! you did well!! *hugs and pats your shoulder* 👀👀 that’s a a lot I hope you can take your nap next time 🥺

thanks for asking! nothing out of the ordinary but I spent the day html editing for my blogs and posting the new story today. it was fun tho I learned some stuff and got stuff organized. Similar to Chan I like organizing and things need to be in place so getting this done with good 😂😂😂

Also you started reading daffodil omg!!! Yeah Minho’s role is a very vital part I enjoyed writing him in that story. I also wrote a bonus thing for him as well as seungmin you can check out after daffodil too just FYI ( ・∇・)

Have a good day/night bub!!

[kimjongdaely]

!!!! i'm not sure if it's over already and if i'm too late but i'm 100000% sure you had a great time omg 💓 was kim jongdae rude or was he rude because i can't with him anymore hjsjsj 💖✨🍒

Yes! I came back about an hour ago and it was amazing! My seat was a bit too far away though so I couldn’t see them too clearly but it was still good. And Jongdae spent the entire concert on the other side of the stage it was so freaking annoying like hello boy you have a ton of fans over here too please look this way 😩 But damn his voice especially during his solo on Heaven 😍😍😍 I filmed a lot so I’ll post a video of the concert once I finish editing and putting them together 😉

[stevie-0089]

So the 31st was, writing wise, kind of a shit show. I tried but I was just in no condition to be doing anything that day really. I spent like 6 hours changing the saying I bring up in ch 7. I like the way it sounds now for sure. But, yeah, there was no need for me to go about trying to figure it out the way I did, which to be honest only took about 4 hours. What did I do for another 2 hours after that, you ask? Well it got jumbled up in my head, that is, what it means and how it’s being used by Namjoon in one particular instance. So to try and understand what tf I was doing with it, I had to think of our sayings and whether one of them might work the same way mine did. None did so I had to reword one until it was conveying the same thing i wanted it to, and yeah. All of that, just so I could then go. Oh yeah, I guess the saying in TLM does make sense after all. Cool.

In case, like me, you’re insatiably curious about anything and everything, here’s the analagous saying I came up with. *Ahem*

Heart is where your home is.

Yep. It’s your basic. —LMAOOOOOOOOOO

^that lmao? that’s cause i’m revisiting a draft. in other words, when i first wrote this it was, i don’t fucking know—wait, i do. it was the first (fuckin shit man, if i barely even read my own posts who tf else is gonna care lol ((you’re an angel, sincerely)) ) um, so yeah. the saying went through another day of edits, basically what i described above but like on another day (same shit-ass productivity, essentially) and yeah, it now (as of jan. 05 , 2021) it’s

Ties to homeland lie in Blood.

I really want to think this is it. It’s like 100000% better than its previous reiteration. And like, aint that some shit? That’s the fuckin issue. I take so long to write because of my compulsive edits—but like, my compulsive editing makes my writing better (at least to me it does). It’s a shit cycle, honestly.

Fuckin ADHD and OCD, man. i hate yall

My poor liver.

[writhingcreature]

Warning: Long post that's basically just me word vomiting and not editing or sorting my thoughts at all. It's very confusing and depressing and 100000/10 not worth reading. I just have to get it off my chest and post it so I can let it go. Sorry to clog your tl.

-

I'm tired of "If Only" from fucking Discendants of all places hitting so goddamn hard.

Like, internalized homophobia really comes CALLING everytime I realize how in love with my girlfriend I am and how happy she makes me and how excited I am to be with her irl and live with her and be able to kiss her and hold her hand and hear her say my name and talk to her in person

I'm just chilling and then my heart goes "her 🥰" and my brain goes "that's gay 🤢" and honestly YEAH BITCH IT IS GAY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! IM GAY!!! YOURE GAY!!! WERE ALL GAY!!!!

And then I listen to "If Only" and it hits soooooo hardddddddddd like let me break this down for you!!!!

"A million thoughts in my head- should I let my heart keep listening? Cause up till now, Ive walked the line. Nothing lost- but something missing." like, I fought my bisexuality my whole life. I was raised LDS (Mormon) and most of not all religious kids in general will tell you for years how much they still how evil that shit is into you and honestly between my programming and what I know in my very bones, it's so???? I'm so???? p u z z l e d!!!! I hate the chaos and the way it all tears me to pieces this is fucking ridiculous

"I can't decide what's wrong, whats right. Which way should I go?" AGAIN!!!! WITH THE TARGETTING MY PROGRAMMING!!! I've been taught my whole life that God Hates Gays so like?? If I'm happy and in love and feel safe and secure that's?? Bad? I've spent my whole life being miserable doing what I've always thought was the right thing and like, after watching Frozen 2 and adopting that "just do the next right thing" mentality, I'm sitting here genuinely wondering what that is? And sometimes I wonder if I'm gonna go to hell and drag her and my boyfriend with me and that's so heartbreaking but like why should I be miserable my whole goddamn life? Just for a supposed eternal happiness that's supposed to happen? I've already lost so many people and I cannot ha del just being friends with her so if we're not dating then I guess we're not in each other's lives and that's fucking unacceptable. Like being happy SHOULD BE THE RIGHT THING WHAT THE FUCK RELIGION

"If only I knew what my heart was telling me. Don't know what I'm feeling; is this just a dream?" Like daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn do I feel that. Is it telling me to leave everyone behind and completely restart my life? Is it telling me to ditch my family and live the life Ive always wanted? Or to ditch my partners and lead the life I've been told I should be living? Because honestly I can't fucking live both and as it's going, I'm eventually going to have to either give up my family or my girlfriend and I have to tell you where I'm standing now it seems my family is g o i n g and that's so fucking tragic. Re: Ive lost so many people and losing all of them? Like the idea that I have family in the afterlife waiting for me is the only shit that kept me going and now I have to abandon all of it just to be happy for two fucking seconds? But then, that same family abandoned and neglected and brutally abused me so really why is the choice so hard? What the fuck???

"If only I could read the signs in front of me, I could find a way to who I'm meant to be." Am I hesitant to leave my family because I've been programmed to think they're all I have? Do I have to ditch them at all? Can we all just chill and cold to an agreement or is having them in my life always goikg to be them reminding me I'll always "be a girl" even though I'm enby and that bisexuality is fake and that homosexuality is evil even when I'm happy? They're so toxic but maybe they're not? Maybe I'm just not leading my life the way I should be? What do feelings mean? How do people decifer this shit?? How does one make Good Choices?

"Every step, every word. With every hour I'm falling in. To something new. Something brave. To someone I have never been." AM I CHANGING??? IS THAT A GOOD THING??? AM I BECOMING WORSE OR BETTER????? SHOULD I BE CHANGING DIFFERENTLY?? Is what I knew about myself no longer applicable? How will I know what's good for me if I don't even know who I am? And if I don't know who I am or where I'm going how am I suppose to know which decision to make and which person to become? How do I know what's good for me if I don't even fucking know who 'me' is???

"Am I crazy? Maybe we can happen. Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?" AND ANOTHER THING! How much will change between me and her when we're in person? Maybe the distance is whats keeping us togerher. She doesn't have to deal with me in person. My depression. My anxiety. My triggers. My strong opinions. My neediness. Having sex with me. Sharing a bed or a room or even just a house with me. What if I'm as much a burden to her as I am to everyone else? What if she ends up hating me, and all this worrying was for nothing because I'm on the completely wrong path and I just don't deserve happiness anymore. Maybe my viewpoint is completely wrong and she'll see that and start hating me???????

Like honestly I have so many doubts - mainly about me because she's amazing and so is my boyfriend. Maybe they'd be happier without me. Maybe everyone would be happier if I just didn't fucking exist at all.

And that's literally on internalized (or just general) homophobia and how absolutely toxic and destructive it is. End it now so that people in the future don't end up like me.